19 Jun 2014 No Comments
I’m only up at the moment because there’s a hellish thunderstorm outside, complete with a lightning show, and it woke me out of a sound (though Percocet-induced) sleep, so I figured that it was about time for an update. Perhaps if I ramble on long enough, I’ll finally get back to bed; I’m not sure of why I’m bothering, though, as I have to be awake in a couple of hours for work, anyway.
I’ve been having some health problems lately, mainly having to do with my mouth. No, nobody punched me in it quite yet, har-har. My wisdom teeth are finally to the point where they’re bugging the shit out of me, so I went to the dentist and they all have to come out. All four of them, ugh. At least they’re not impacted. But I’ve been in pain for quite a while – three weeks, and I’m having difficulty getting surgery scheduled. I went in for the procedure today, but apparently I have to have it done in a hospital because they couldn’t “get me under” enough in office – report is that I kept fighting them. No doubt. I have extreme dental anxiety, always have, and it doesn’t surprise me a bit that I wouldn’t go down, so to speak. So they gave me some goodish drugs (Clindamycin and Percocet – whoo!) and sent me home to try to figure this crap out.
Problem is, the Percs really aren’t doing me a lot of good right now. I’m STILL in pain, regardless. This shit fucking hurts, man.
Weight loss has stalled out. I haven’t gained a whole lot – maybe a couple of pounds maximum – but it’s bothersome, especially when I was sailing along so nicely. I was put on Vicodin when all of this started and that drug made me sick to my stomach, as well as literally eat almost everything in sight – ugh! Needless to say, I told them to get me off of that shit. Now I’m just sick to my stomach with no appetite. Sigh.
I’m not doing well in my juvenile delinquency class, either. I was, but I got a mind numbing 33 on the last writing assignment because I haven’t been feeling well enough to concentrate on a damn thing I’ve been reading. It’s not going to affect my final grade too much, thank God for that, but it’s still a crushing disappointment. I’m not used to failing a damned thing and it’s very, very bothersome. All the more reason why I want this surgery done and over with.
So, yeah, there’s been some negative shit going on recently, but it’s nothing that I can’t deal with. I can say one thing, though – my husband has been a fucking rock. I seriously do not know what I would have done without him these past couple of weeks – probably gone out of my mind with the pain. He’s been dragging me to appointments, filling my prescriptions, getting me ice cream when I need it (and I’ve definitely needed cold, soft things to eat), encouraging me not to quit or give up, holding me as I cry/scream with pain. Seriously. I struck fucking gold the day I met him. I’ll never forget it.
Has there been anything good? Eh, well, I’m alive, right? Since the surgery was cancelled for today, I managed to save the 1200 dollars it would have cost me. Jesus. That would’ve been another trip to Australia. I shiver when I think of the money – I have the worst dental plan on the fucking planet. I’m so switching to MetLife in November. (Hint: Federal employees, do not go with Dominion Dental, you will regret that shit so much.)
I’m halfway through grad school. That’s definitely a good thing. The dreaded statistics course is coming up, but I’ve been doing a little pre-study work and it may not be as bad as it looks. It’s sort of a cross between my grad level research methods course (which I didn’t actually like and only got a B in) and my undergrad level statistics course (which I did quite well in), so some of the concepts are actually a bit familiar. We’ll see how it runs, but I must admit that the math equations in the text scare the crap out of me.
Still okay at the job, though I’m starting to seriously hit the employment search again as I get closer to the Master’s. I don’t want to go through all this education for a secretarial position, which, let’s face it, is more or less what I do. If I thought I could advance where I am right now, I’d stay, because I really do like my job and my supervisor and the team I work with. But there’s nowhere left to go – I’ve hit the ceiling, and I need more. I’ve discovered ambition – that’s surprising.
I’ve kind of been quiet on the social front, but that’s not a shock, really – as I’ve stated continually, I’m beginning to pretty much lose focus on what others are thinking or are into. I see pop culture in front of me, but I don’t really connect to it – I’ve always been in my own little world as far as that’s concerned. My husband is a bit more involved, but he’s sort of the same way, actually – I wish sometimes that we could connect a little more on that, but I’m okay with how things are. He does like some of the same things I do and he totally respects my love for 70′s funk, soul and disco, even if he doesn’t actually like it. Neither of us are interested in television programs much, we hold more or less the same political opinions (though we disagree on some key things), and we read quite a lot. And talk. Oh, how I love talking to my husband. He’s amazing like that.
Did I mention that I struck gold when I met him? Oh, yeah. I think I did.
So, on a slightly different tack, I’m considering retooling the blog again – since I’m into this thing with the fitness/weight loss/exercise and all, I was thinking about redoing this blog into the idea that I’d originally had with my old cooking blog, 52 a Year, which is now sadly down and extinct (mainly because I didn’t have the time to keep it up) – that’s the only thing that keeps me from doing this one the same way, but at the same time, I’m paying for the space/domain name/blah blah and I’m not really utilizing it as I should. I’m not sure how I’d retool it, though – I’ve had “mordacious” for a long time and even though it doesn’t much fit me anymore (because I’m not bitter), I’m used to it. It was a part of me for a good deal of my life, even if it’s a sign of my former dysfunction. Got to think on this one, I believe. But there may be some changes coming.
And… the thunderstorms are finally over. I have 2.5 hours to try and sleep a bit. The Percs make me drowsy, so I think it may be a good idea to try. But… yeah, there’s been a bit of down with the up. Life, you know.